How to Fall in Love with your Spouse All Over Again?

Falling in love is easy when you have just met a wonderful person. It is when you have been married to the same person for a few years, or even months for that matter, that you begin to wonder how you ended up being stuck to this man or woman. Here are a few ways to get out of the marital rut and fall in love with your spouse all over again.

1. Start afresh.
   If you really want to revive the feelings of romance with your spouse, it is necessary for you to let go of the emotional baggage that you may have accumulated over all this time. Try and forgive the hurtful things you may have said and done to each other and if that is not altogether possible, at least make an attempt to put them behind you. Part of the reason why it was so easy to fall in love the first time you met was because neither of you came to the relationship with any issues or complaints about each other. Even if you cannot go back to being complete strangers now, as much as possible try to start on a clean slate.
   
2. Stop keeping scores.
   It is hard to fall in love with your spouse all over again if you continue to measure their worth as against what they have and have not done for you. This is not to say that you should keep giving more to the marriage as compared to your spouse but only that a marital relationship is not an algebraic equation where both sides need to balance each other out perfectly. Some days you give a little more and on others, so does your spouse. But if you really wish your relationship to be like the first time, your love has to be unconditional which is hard if you keep making entries on the marital scorecard all the time.
   
   
3. Do the things you used to.
   Try to remember all that you enjoyed about each other during the heady days of your early love and see if you can bring back those aspects into your life. If it was your carefree and social nature which first attracted your spouse to you, make an attempt to enjoy life more so that once again you are fun to be around. On the other hand, if it was your wide-ranging intellect that caught your spouse’s attention, brush up your reading and invite him/her to accompany you to literary workshops or seminars. Or if it was a mutual interest like pottery-making or windsurfing that brought your together, revive those activities so that you two can get a chance to rekindle your attraction for one another.
   
4. Take a break.
   Once couples settle into a routine, it becomes increasingly difficult to get out of the rut. Juggling commitments at work, home and as parents, spouses may find it impossible to spare the time and energy to go back to being a romantic two-some. Here the only thing to do is to take a break. If you are lucky enough to have someone to look after the kids, try to take off for a few days for a quiet beach or a skiing resort. If not, even a weekend away from work and home responsibilities may work wonders for your romantic life. The whole point is to let other commitments take the backseat for a while and bond with each other so that you can fall in love all over again with the person you married.
   
5. Go back to the basics.
   When you were first dating each other, remember how you instinctively treated your partner with kindness, consideration and respect. It was only with time that you let angry words and negative gestures creep into your marital life. If you can accord a basic courtesy and kindness to a complete stranger, why not your spouse? So, bring back all these aspects into your relationship and watch how it turns over a new leaf.
   
6. Flirt with your spouse.
   If you are to fall in love with your partner all over again you need to see him/her as a member of the opposite sex and not simply someone you share an apartment or the kids with. Begin by making an effort to look attractive or at least well-groomed. Then go on to play the flirting game using your eyes, smile and various gestures like the casual brush of your hand against his thighs or her waist. Do something special for your partner like surprising your wife with a candlelight dinner at home or getting tickets for a game playing his favorite football team. In other words, court your spouse like you did in the past and you will find the same warm fuzzy feeling rising from somewhere inside you.
   
7. Keep talking.
   Having an effective means of communication is crucial to the survival of every marriage. Remember how you shared every feeling, hope and anxiety with your partner in the early days of your relationship. And even if you had fights, you could resolve them only because you kept the lines of communication open. So instead of remaining passive to things as they are, take responsibility to make changes. Be willing to initiate conversations and if need be set aside a certain time each day to have discussions with your spouse. Only when you are able to verbally exchange what is in your hearts, will you be able to love your spouse all over again.
   
8. Have patience.
   No matter how committed you are to make your marriage work, it cannot go back to being exactly as it was when you first met each other. This is because of the simple reason that then you were strangers and without any kind of presumptions about each other. Now on the other hand you have known one another intimately for a while, warts and all. So give love some time to grow back again and when it does, it will be all the more beautiful having stood the test of experience.