Dating
Separated Men
By Michelle
Powell-Smith on March 30, 2010
Dating comes
with many trials and tribulations, even in the best of circumstances. Whether
you have met a man at the office, the coffee shop or through an on-line dating
site, you might find that many men begin dating while separated, rather than
divorced. Dating separated men brings its own questions, ranging from rebound
relationships to whether they really are done with their previous relationships.
Navigate this sensitive issue with care to protect your heart without missing
out on a great guy.
Significance
Separated can mean a lot of
different things, depending upon the individual and the divorce laws in your
state. In some cases, it might mean "married and looking"; in others,
it's a sign of a long, difficult and drawn-out divorce. In any case, it does
mean that he still has unfinished business with a past relationship, but the
impact of that can vary.
Identification
How can you tell if the
separated man you're dating really is separated--and, moreover, if he really is
ready for a new relationship? First, look at the evidence. If you have his home
phone number, have been to his house and the separation is legal and on paper,
it's further along. Men who seem to be hiding something probably are. Identifying
whether he is on the rebound is more difficult. It takes time to heal from a
broken relationship, and most people aren't ready for new relationships before
the ink is dry on the divorce papers.
Time
Frame
Some states require substantial
waiting periods for a divorce; in other situations, divorces drag on because of
arguments over finances or child custody, or even because of hopes of
reconciliation. If you live in a state with a waiting period, you might feel
comfortable dating a separated man late in the divorce process if it is going
smoothly. If a divorce is taking much longer than is typical, expect drama.
Expectations
Consider what you want out of a
relationship if you are thinking about dating a separated man. If you want a
casual friendship or a friend with benefits, you might be fine with a man who
isn't looking for commitment. On the other hand, if you are looking for a life
partner, a man whose life is in turmoil from a separation or ongoing divorce
proceedings is a poor choice. Go slow, and keep things light until he is in a
better place in his life.
Warning
If you do decide to date a man
before his divorce is final, check the divorce laws in your state. You might
find that he is committing adultery, making the divorce even more difficult and
possibly pulling you into the proceedings. Unfortunately, you also might end up
the rebound, dumped after a short relationship as he sows his wild oats.
No comments:
Post a Comment